Darkness follows wherever it walks.
A shadow that dwells,
And tendrils that talk
Here in the mind,
Reality is fragile,
And some corners are…unkind
It comes in dreams,
When I stray to far
Towards tears and seams.
And in nightmares, too,
That get too dark,
And I lose the light of the moon.
Though in my dreams it haunts me,
I can’t help but think
That maybe it’s Friendly
11x14”
Acrylic on Canvas
2023
Available
It is a piece about using art to process inner demons and how it gives us a safe space to freely express the sides of ourselves that we try to hide away. When you're a sensitive neurodivergent blob masquerading as a hyper-independent impenetrable chaos dragon, it's impossible not to take on extra weight, even if it's the mask you wear getting heavier and heavier.
This past year I found myself questioning all of my behaviors and beliefs. I questioned everything I knew about my identity, trying to sort out what is Mask and what is me. I noticed that after I started the unmasking journey, little …quirks… bubble back up to the surface that I forgot were there.
Art gave me the space to be able to explore all of this territory as if it were new, as if I'm getting to know myself again for the first time.
This process of shadow work taught me to remember to call myself into question and process behaviors, trauma responses, and social conditioning that don't resonate with me and no longer serve a purpose for me to be a functioning human, and rebuild the neural pathways to heal instead of hide.
It reminded me to exorcise regularly.
2022
11x14”
Acrylic on Canvas
2022
Available
The mask gets thick, and I fill the cracks with mud until I can’t recognize myself. I’m spiky, but the spikes are pointed in, and every time I move, they poke in further. Many of the things that I thought were shining facets of my soul were actually prismatic fractures of shattered glass.
Struggling with chronic mental health problems is absolutely exhausting. It’s been a fight ever since I was a kid to not succumb to my darkest thoughts, and the idea that this will continue on for as long as I inhabit this body gets so daunting and exhausting that sometimes I wonder how I’m gonna make it and find any kind of lasting tranquility or healing in it…
On the flip side… I feel like my experiences in shadow inform my understanding of the beauty of light and allow me to feel it in a way that a lot of people struggle to, and that’s the beauty I try to capture in my art… those moments of shining clarity are the ones that I continue dredging through the mud for… I guess they do say beauty hurts, huh?
2022
16x20”
Acrylic on Canvas
2022
Available
What is identity?
What is authentically me?
I was told openness isn’t vulnerability
And wondered about how to be vulnerable with myself.
I thought that sculpting myself of shiny metal into everyone’s fantasy
would somehow form what became me.
I sit by my fire just inside where the guardians stand, staring into the dark.
“Come back” it beckons as the cracks in the layers of masks creep and crumble.
I know what it means to go back
To navigate the winding tunnels under the mountains
To peel back layers of mud caked onto fractured crystals of the mind
Facets of my soul frozen in time
And walls threatening to cave in.
I know the moment will never be perfect, but if I want to heal,
I need to get on the boat and face it.
Just do it.
This small print is perfect for the person who collects a lot of art or is on the move <3 matted and packaged for the safety of the print, sure to bring you joy for a long time to come!